The Powai Lake and National Interests

Today, I took a walk along the periphery of Powai Lake.

Now, this was indeed a serene and quiet walk, except for the occasional chirping of birds, the murmur of the "waves" breaking on the banks and the more frequent shout, "Hey <>&^#$@#! Can't you see where you are going?" : This from the male fractions of the numerous couples that frequent the lake front to spend some quality time together, watching the sunset, wondering about the future, and their life together and what in the world they are doing on the shores of a lake that is so polluted and infested with mosquitoes. Really! The damn place is constantly swamped by mosquitoes and other queer insect life; some of which you will be seeing for the first time in your life! You can imagine the conversation two insects must be having.

Male mosquito : "What do you want to do today?"
Female mosquito : "Well the kids have gone to the school to learn about the humans and the animals (translation for humans : Birds and the bees). I was thinking that we'll have dinner outside today.
M m : "I know just the spot. Let's go out to Powai lake!"
F m : "Nah! Not that place again!"
M m : "Wait till you see the fat guy who comes for a walk these days. From what I've heard, he writes some humour columns. It’s been years since I've tasted funny blood!"
F m : "Oh! Really? I can't wait! Let's leave!"

So, along with the couples, I also had the constant company of mosquitoes, fruit flies, the occasional snake and a few alligators. Actually, there were lizards the size of alligators. This can be attributed to the nuclear radiation emanating from the Powai lake. The amount of Nuclear Pollution in the Powai lake is so enormous that the Government has had to depute special task forces of hybrid mosquitoes, imported from Somalia (they are REALLY hungry mosquitoes) to keep people away from the place.

But then, I'm veering away from the topic which I had initially begun my post for. I was walking along the internal IIT Road that is along the Powai lake. And I was looking at the pristine beauty of the nearby Hiranandani towers. Well, actually, there were many good looking females residing in those towers, and they had chosen that time to have a coffee in their respective galleries. And I had a thought. Now this thought is going to make you slap your foreheads and think ," Why didn’t I think of this?" But then, if you had thought of this, you probably wouldn't have been reading this article. You would have been sitting in your own yatch somewhere in the Mediterranean, sipping some red wine.

The thought I had was this : Why not take a Somalian breed of mosquito, dip them in Powai lake (to create highly hazardous blood sucking insects) and threaten our neighbouring countries into submission! I mean, the idea is infallible. Just imagine the opponent army swatting away insects the size of water melons to glory while our soldiers pick them up at leisure.

Soldier of Neighbouring country : Sir, the damned Indians have let loose the mosquitoes again!
Superior : Curse these Indians. I have lost almost twelve Kg weight during that last blood sucking spree. Get the Good Night! And tell the soldiers to get their Baygon sprays ready!

Now, you are probably saying, "Govindraj! That is a brilliant idea! In fact, you should receive the Arjuna Award for this!" And I will say this, "You moron! The Arjuna Award is for excellence in sports! What you mean is the Nobel Prize!" But you see, I won’t even ask for the Nobel Prize. I'm such a mother land loving person, that for getting rid the country of its problems, I will willingly give up my blood.

Actually, the reason I had this idea was that I did donate a lot of blood to the mosquitoes by the Powai lake. I seemed to be attracting unusually large numbers. I wonder why...