The Plight of the American

Imagine the plight of an American Engineer who has been "deported" to India for some work. (Is deported the correct word? Or should I say deputed?)

At the airport, he will probably have an encounter with the famous Indian corruption. But he has probably been fore warned about this. And as they say, fore warned is fore armed. However, he isn't aware of the indigenous nature of the Customs Officials. (Indigenous : Origin probably from the word India! It means home-grown)

Customs Official : Arre Passport dikhao bhai!
American Engineer : What are you saying maan?
C : Show your Passport.
A : What do you mean by pass fart?
C : Arre iske palle kuchh baat padhti hi nahi. (enunciating each alphabet) Show me your Passport.
A : Oh. Here it is my maan.
C : Fine. You can proceed.
A : (Confused) Don't you want something to let me go?
C : You bloody Americans! You think you are the only sophisticated people with all the high technology? We have our own automation. Your baggage was scanned for and relieved of its useful contents automatically.
A : Useful? I don't understand my friend.
C : Useful for us, useless for you. What use is a digital camera to you? There's nothing worth seeing here. All you can see on the roads are poor, naked children. And you don't look like a paedophile to me... Now get out of here, before I change my mind and ask you to empty your wallet.

The Engineer has obviously been sent to India for a prestigious project of the UN or some world wide agency. Which means that (threatening drum rolls in the background) he has to work with a Government Organisation, something like Maharashtra Urban Transport Project. Your natural instinct would be to advise the dude to forget the project and head for the hills. Better not to work in India than to work for the Govt. But as citizens of India, we feel that all the people from the west, who create trouble for us anyway, should get their just deserts. That is why we choose to maintain a subtle silence.

So, the Engineer heads out to the site, where he is greeted by a lone foreman or contractor, who is contentedly sipping on his tea, making an irritating, slurping noise. Now the dude finds this highly irritating, but he is wont to start an argument with the foreman on the very first day. He needs to use some tact.
AE : "Where are the workers?"
FM : "What do you mean where are the Shirkers? You can't talk about the labourers like that. If they get a slight hint that you have been criticising them, they will go on strike."
AE : "Okay. Where are the labourers?"
FM : "They are on strike."
AE : "What for?"
FM : "Because the Indian Government chose to give a million dollars for Hurricane Katrina relief rather than spending the money on Mumbai relief."
AE : "Really? I didn't realise the Indian people are that sensitive and well read!"
FM : "They aren't. They are on strike because they haven't been paid for three months!"
AE : "But I checked the accounts. The salaries of the people have been released around two months ago!"
FM : "Welcome to India!"

Now, the American is really pissed. He needs to send a report back to the IMF or whatever international body it is that is funding the project. And there has been no progress. What he probably doesn't realise is that the International body is probably rooting for the project to get delayed even further. That will imply higher costs, which will mean, higher interests. And since India has never defaulted on her payments, unlike the First World Countries, it probably means that the babus of the Government of India are going to have to take a pay cut to repay the debt. No! That was a joke! The debt is going to be passed on to you, you stupid tax payer! And the American is with you! He wants to prevent the delay. So? What do you do? Nothing, you sit around in your hall, watching all this on television, criticising the Government for the corruption and the delays and other stuff.

But this post isn't about that. Its about the American. Who is probably facing the bureaucrats Anti Corruption Bureau.
More about this later...