The Pleasures of Cycling

I have always owned a cycle. I can't recall a single time period in my life when I was without one. So, if there is anyone entitled to comment on the pleasures of cycling, it is Lance Armstrong. But I'm going to give it a shot anyway!

Most of the people in India own a cycle. They tend to forget the fact most of the times. This is because the cycle is probably languishing in some corner of their attic, or in the garage. People are reminded of their cycle when they read in Reader's Digest that cycling is good for health. Or they read the newspaper, where it says that Petrol is now Rs. 700 a litre.

Cycling, as an activity, is comprised of the following :

1. Wondering where the hell you have kept the cycle (10 minutes)
2. Getting the cycle out of the neighbour's garage (25 minutes. How the hell did it get there?)
3. Thinking about giving the cycle a clean-up and oiling (15 minutes)
4. Actually doing the cleaning (5 minutes. Give up!)
5. Riding the cycle (20 minutes. Holy cow! This thing is slow. I wonder what happened to my smooth riding cycle?)
6. Finding a place to keep cycle.
7. Sleeping like a log for 10 hours due to fatigue caused by the activity of cycling.

Yes, sir. Cycling is indeed a time consuming affair. And the fun doesn't stop here. There are allied hassles, about which I could write pages about. For starters, you have to get the grease off the chain, which you have obviously forgotten to do, the effect of that being that your loveliest pair of pants now look like they have been run over by an army of ants, who had black paint on their feet. I could write a manual about this.

Step 1. Get the cycle out of the garage.
Step 2. Find a family member to tell you where the garage is and ask them how to open the door (Its probably going to be rusted)
Step 3. Find a dirty cloth to clean an even dirtier cycle.
Step 4. Oil the whole damn thing!
Step 5. Wipe the oil off.
Step 6. Give the cycle to the local cycle repairing shop for complete overhauling.
Step 7. Wait a week for the cycle.
Step 8. Forget the cycle; walking's the way to go.

And for those who are still enthusiastic enough, I suggest they ride the cycle to let go of the fad. Because once you start pedalling, you will realise that this is not the cycle you had purchased. The one you had purchased was red in colour and rode like a dream. The one you have now may still be red in colour. Just get rid of the 5 cm thick layer of dust. As regards the smoothness, it can be explained. Cycle manufacturers have added that functionality in an attempt to boost sales. The cycle will exponentially get tougher to ride with respect to the amount of neglect it gets. This works for the benefit of the nation, because it makes the cycle manufacturers rich and you thinner. And if you end up using the car, its going to make the oil companies happy.