Crowded Places and the average Human

Human beings are social animals. If ever there was an oxymoron, that is one. Of course, you will have to consider social in the reference of high society tea and coffee parties. And when you think of animals in that perspective, the only animals that come to mind are well trained and mannered pets, like cats, dogs and parrots, and their masters, water buffaloes and African hippopotamuses. Really! If you have ever had the occasion [I am sure you haven't] to attend a high class event [See, the very fact that you are reading this blog proves that you haven't] then you would know what goes on in such parties [if you are looking for information in this blog about such events, look elsewhere!] and the people who attend it. I am saying you have no information about these parties because they go on all the while. Consider the lifestyle of an average high society person:

Morning: Brush teeth. Put on deo. Attend high profile breakfast party.
Mid-morning - Early-afternnon: Use mouth freshener. Attend brunch meeting halfway across town.
Afternoon: Lunch party at a page 3 do.
Mid-afternoon - Early-evening: Catch a nap. Attend social outing. Gorge on pastries from exquisite lands.
Evening: Ah forget it, you get the drift by now!

Anyway, since there is no way these people can give vent to the obstreperous child residing within them, since there is no imprimatur for boisterous activities forthcoming from anyone, they take to the next best thing: devouring huge amounts of fatty substances, which leads to their skin taking on the look and feel of alabaster, hence the reference to water buffaloes and hippopotamuses.

Again, since the diameter of an average party goer is 23 feet (as measured at the waist) a lot of crowding takes place at the meeting points. A lot many herbivorous and carnivorous feeding activities can be witnessed at social events which are frequented by these social animals. And according to the law of conservation of mass, what goes in must come out, subject to whatever you have retained and what you chose to let go. Since the human DNA has been programmed when the human species was faced with death due to starvation, the human body is loathe to let go off all the fat that the mouth finds delectable to consume. It will willingly expunge any signs of bodily muscle at the first given opportunity. Yet, even when there exists a dire need to burn off the fat, such as when a person is trying to lose weight, the body will stubbornly hold onto it [personal experience] And in lieu of the fat, it will burn some sulphurous material, leading to the release of

FAR
FA
F
Don't make me write the words, please!

So, as you can imagine, social dos are soon converted from a gathering of people of the high society to a massacrial gas chamber straight out of a concentration camp. I am not going to elucidate on this aspect. I have an invite to attend one of the camps ... I mean, one do today evening, post twilight. Anyone interested in having a fits hand [first nose] experience can tag along!

/Radgovin