Exams and other hazards of Education

This title is inspired from Dave Barry's Book : "Babies and Other Hazards of Sex"

I am not against examinations, actually. It's just that I think we would be better off with a system that doesn't give mother's a chance to compare their respective wards! Wards! What a funny word! I remember they used this word in our school to ensure that the children don't understand that they are the ones who are being talked about! This could cause real trouble to the Municipal Corporator of a certain ward of Mumbai.

Class Teacher : "Sir, your ward has been in a lot of trouble these days!"
Municipal Corporator of Ward S (Father of Ward XYZ (I was thinking of MD, but his dad is not a Municipal Corporator!)) : "Yes, I know. We have had a lot of trouble with the roads this year."
CT : (to himself) 'Roads? Oh, ah yes. Code language! I understand!' (To the MC) "Also, there has been news that your ward has been flooding a lot lately!"
MC : "Tell me about it! The amount of trouble I have had to go through to get the water out of my house after the 26th of July!"
CT : "26th of July? No, no. Your ward was caught flooding in the bathroom on the 29th of July. And it was on the school premises, not at your house"
MC : "Oh, so it was flooding here too, eh? Get in touch with my junior, we will do something about it in say about a hundred and twenty nine years of time!"
And so it goes. The reason that I have not tried to make this part funny is that I don't want to infuriate the Municipal Corporator of my ward! Who knows when he'll cut off the water supply? Fine mess that would create.

But this isn't about the 26th of July and allied problems, this is about exams and the worst thing associated with the exams : The Results! Yes, undoubtedly the thing that scares children the most is the exam results. More than being caught studying by a close friend. They are not scared of the doctor's needle as much as they are scared of the results these days, the kids.

Doctor : (to apprehensive looking kid) "Now, now. The Tetanus is a must, you know that. Don't be afraid!"
Kid : "Is there any vaccination for adults?"
D : "Yeah. There are many!"
K : "Can you make me a vaccination to make a person disappear?"
D : "Why do you want that for?"
K : "I want Mr. Murthy, my class teacher, to disappear before he declares our exam results!"

And, unfortunately for the kid, there is no such vaccination and he has to hear his result from this Murthy fellow. And then there is the rigmarole of showing the report card to his parents, getting it signed from them. (This is an unusual and unnecessary step. It has been designed by sadistic people at the Board of Schools. They derive pleasure from seeing kids being berated by their parents! They were probably abused in their childhood! :-))

In conclusion, I would like to say this : Exams are fine. Get rid of the results!