Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Delayed posting


Deprivance is a measure adopted by the blogger to increase the popularity of his posts.

- Old Chinese Proverb

Alright, you guessed it right. There is no such Old Oriental Proverbial Saying [OOPS] [which incidentally will not make a great name for advanced surgical instruments]

Surgeon (to nurse): Gloves?

Nurse: Check

After a while, Surgeon: Scalpel?

Nurse: Here.

Surgeon: Spatula? (Huh?)

Nurse: Take it.

Surgeon: OOPS?

Thud! (Sound of patient falling from surgeon's table due to cardiac arrest)

Anyway, since there is no such existentialistic proverb to justify my absence from blogging, I need to get back to posting absolutely random musings of my mind at a sporadically regular pace. And this is precisely what I am doing right now, after a hiatus of around twelve hundred years. Really! The last time I checked, I was in Guangzhou province, distributing freebies to the poor people who were busy constructing the Great Wall. And now, I am here typing some random alphabets, seemingly to generate a sentence, which has the purported intention of conveying to the reader that he does not realize I am trying to increase the length of the paragraph by incorporating meaningless, unending sentences.

Since my time in the Orient, I have realized that it would have been better for me to have been an occidental representative interested in the growth of the wall than being a freebie distributor. Distributing freebies never did any good to anyone, especially if the freebie being distributed was a manual on DIY: Building Iron Maidens from wood and stones! This lead to a lot of unrest between the workers, especially the more enterprising ones who tried out the product of the manual on their supervisor, with impaling, OOPS, I mean, inhuman effects.

What the workers also managed to do was teach me English and send me through time into the future to write this blog, though I have no idea of where they got a manual on DIY: Time transport brainless individuals who know nothing better than to hand out freebies such as a manual on DIY: Building Iron Maidens from wood and stones! Was it really the workers? Or was the previous statement copy pasted from one of my science fiction stories accidentally? Oh my God! I just hope that my readers don't realize my secret to random humorous articles: that of copy pasting sentences from various stories, all penned by my various personalities. An example of which can be found here.

More later. For now, let the deprivance continue! :)

OOPS?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

New Contributor


Dear Reader,

Just when you thought you could not handle any more of the profane, progressively regressive, proliferating,  promiscuous, promulgating and prosthetic articles that regularly find their way on to this blog; Just when you had given up all hope of the world improving because terrorists all over the world were catching on to my innovative ideas (Idea 1, Idea 2, Idea 3) and are creating mayhem all over the world; just when you thought that maybe the sniper you sent to do away with me was successful in executing his contract - Just when you are on the border of insanity - I have come up with a brilliant master plan! (because I am a contract manager by profession!)

From today onwards, I am inviting on this blog, a new contributor. Dear reader, welcome to the worst of your nigthmares - welcome to the world of two bloggers [who may I add are fiance and fiancee] who are committed to provide unbiased, unethical and unnerving booger articles unendingly. (also defined as ad nauseam) I ask all of you to please welcome, with baited breath, the new contributor: Ms. Fiancee [or MsF for short!] :)

/Radgovin

Here's her first post: (with the bold statements in brackets being my comments!)

What else can be more genuine than this scenario: a guy who's "destined" to marry a girl asks her, "Will you marry me?"

Yeah, right. As if he had a choice! But then on second thoughts or a more positive note (positive??? That can be nominated as the oxymoron of the millennium, marriage and positive…are you kidding me??) Never mind, on a more positive note, the proposal (huh?) can be taken as a compliment that slipped out in spite of cautious optimism.

Incase you have understood the above scenario, please revert back to the writer and try and push in some sense. I think that statement was verbal diarrhoea that happened after the mental clogs, which were blocked since eons, were removed from the amateur writers' mind. This can be taken as a situation exactly opposite to that of the writer's block. (which the original writer of this blog somehow never seems to face!) In fact I think this can very well be nominated for readers' block, where the poor captive (or should I say captured?) reader tries to block himself from the trauma trying to read and decipher the writers' blabber. (Unfortunately, the readers of this particular blog are too familiar with this particular aspect)

The reason you are reading through these lines (Hurray!!! I have my very first reader), is that I have after serious musings agreed to put up my posts on Random musings of a Questioning mind. (much to the chagrin of the original writer!) Hey, I can hear you cry out loud….It must be out of joy of course!!! Where else are you going to find two boogers consistently improvising on writing absolute non-sense with an entertaining style?

Now, in true Oscar style I would like to take this opportunity to convey my thanks to Radgovin who has been generous enough to let me upload figments of my random neural firings on his page. (I know that he's doing this as a desperate attempt to increase the readers on the page…why he even subscribes to his own blogs!!!) (okay, two things: firstly, I make the comments in the brackets. and second, I resent being called a publicity stuntman on my own blog! I have no more than some three hundred subscriptions to my own blog from different google reader accounts!)

Ahem…that's all for the first one. Promise to get back with better blogs….till then Wish you a very Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year!!!!

/MsF

Deepavali Greetings


It is the festival of lights - and it also happens to be the festival of noise. More on that later, maybe an article on the Serious musings...

For now, here's wishing all my blog readers, and the world in general,

A very Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year!

P. S. In case the prosperity gets too much for you to handle, please redirect funds to the owner of this blog. Those funds will aid him in putting up a web-site of his own! :)

Friday, November 02, 2007

News Updates


In a fit of egocentricity, I have subscribed to my own blogs in Google Reader. If you are not aware of what google reader is, you can find out here: Google Reader

And on this page, you will find the articles that I feel people all over the world should be reading: Here!!!

Anyway, since I have subscribed to the "feed" I was feeling pretty irritated not to have got my daily dose of humour in these times of dire world wide depression. You might be wondering what depression, but believe me, we are living in real bad times. Here's a sampling of news that I have from BBC News, courtesy of BBC. (These are real headlines, I am not makn

1. Egypt ruling party opens Congress [What the heck is an Egyptian party doing by "opening" up the Congress? What does opening mean, anyway?]

2. N Korea nuclear shut down to start [N Korea already has nuclear power plants in operation which have reached shut down stage. And we are still stuck at the procurement of technology and nuclear fuel stage!]

3. Japan quake risk "underestimated" [I am worried here. How badly was the risk underestimated? What will be the implications of an earthquake measuring 200 gazillion on the Richter scale?]

4. Mexico head pledges disaster head [Obviously, the article speaks about some big shot pledging financial aid. However, seems quite funny to imagine a head and only a head going around distributing dollars to all and sundry!]

5. Rice subpoenaed in spying trial [What next? Brinjals subpoenaed for potato-tomato sex scandal? Cucumbers subpoenaed for their involvement in personal assistance for sexual gratification?]

Anyway, since I was getting irritated at not receiving any booger updates, I got around to reading BBC feeds. And while reading through such morbid tales from macabre lands, I had a vision and this led me to the realization: I will not receive updates till I write a blog article myself! Also, I realized, as I mentioned earlier, that we are living in depressing times.

More later.

/Radgovin

P. S. Tomorrow happens to be my engagement. That is adding fuel to the fire. [reference: we didn't start the fire]