Holidays and the Writer's Block

I have noticed that I have a tendency to start my blog articles with "I". And while some may argue that this is a sure sign of my egocentric tendencies, I differ on them on this account. And while it's true that everyone has a right to form his/her opinion, I have the right to call them dummies if the opinion is about me and people call me something I am not. I am not egocentric. Megalomaniac, maybe. But definitely not egocentric. How can you call me egocentric when I am involved in so many unselfish activities such as making people laugh, criticising Ganguly, staying at home and not venturing out to increase the crowd in trains, buses and roads in general. I hope the previous statement makes sense to you, because it does not make any sense to me, even after I've read it ten times.

I do not know about egocentric tendency but I do have a tendency to drift from what I want to start speaking about. Today I am going to try and speak about the mental block that develop s in my mind when I am having vacations. And I am going to try and limit the laissez aller (lack of restraint) of my brain on my fingers. I will try to prevent them from typing words such as paraskevidekatriphobia (fear of Friday the Thirteenth). In case you have not noticed, I am using long words but I am also giving their meanings within brackets. And in case you still have not noticed, I have drifted from the topic at hand. I like to believe that the reader does not realise that I stray because I have a commanding style of writing. But I know that the truth is that the reader is more interested in the links that appear elsewhere on the blog, giving one access to unlimited porn.

Anyway, so back to today's topic. Whenever I have a vacation, my mind is the first that goes into the holiday mood. This puts the rest of my body in a lurch, as it has to make important decisions such as "Should I scratch my armpit now? Or later?" on it's own. And of course, there is the important activity of writing my blog. I know that I do not always use my brain while doing this, but it is true that I need the brain to sign in to the publishing page. After that, my fingers take over and start typing things like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (a nonsense word which means fantastic). Sorry about that. That is what happens when your brain is not in the same pincode as your hands are. The writer's block is what has affected me, then and this has resulted in some really poor posts. This has been brought to my notice by as many as one reader.

Anyway, while on the topic of holidays, I'd like to cite a recent chat conversation I had with a pen-friend of mine who lives in Timbuktoo. Or is it Tibet? Anyway, she lives some place other than India, where I presume the leaders are slave drivers, who do not care about anything other than making themselves rich and enforcing whatever they write on others. (which is not quite different from what I do. But at least you can navigate away from this page whenever you want!) This statement I make from her revelation that the total number of holidays they have in a year is 70. Imagine that! Only 70 holidays. That would mean only 18 holidays other than the weekly off. That is indeed pathetic. Imagine the plight of that person if she comes to India.

Pen friend : I am really glad to be in India!
Me : Yeah. Me too. I sure am glad that you have come here on a holiday. That way I can spend some time with you!
PF : I wouldn't know about that. I have to be back in my country by day after tomorrow. I have had the hardest time of my life securing this holiday. I had to sacrifice two holidays in the next year for this one.
Me : Aah... That's too bad!
PF : Yeah, it is. Anyway, what holiday are you having now? I hope I am not making you sacrifice anything.
Me : No, no. Nothing at all. In fact, even if you would have come the next week, you would have found me free.
PF : Oh! But that would have depended on which day I would have arrived, wouldn't it?
Me : No. I am having the entire next week off.
PF : How so? Oh, your country clubs all it's holidays together? That is a great idea. I think I should suggest it in my country. However, if they (the leaders) do not like the idea, they will confiscate the rest of my lifetime's holidays!
Me : What a terrible thing to do! And no, my country does not club it's holidays together. I am allowed a total of 20 Casual leaves, 20 Sick leaves, around 30 days for a personal vacation and I can draw upon unused holidays from the previous year or the forthcoming five years

THUD! (Sound of PF fainting)

Again, I have strayed from the point at hand. I think this article is funny, though. I hope that my critic laughs so much that she falls off her chair. That would serve her right for criticising me in the first place!