Babas and Education

The other day, I was wondering about the consequences of pairing up the infamous Babas and Babus: the former being self proclaimed seers and messiahs and the latter being the Government pencil-pushers. One cannot even begin to imagine the repercussions of such a move. Imagine having to bribe a babu at the gates of a huge mansion that is the "meditation" place for the baba. And after that, you can go ahead and meet the Baba, who will proceed to rid you of all your problems. No! I am just kidding! The only thing that the Baba will rid you of is your hard earned money, which in these days of inflation is of little use to you anyway and which you would have probably spent on useless things like educating your children and pension funds and what not. I say education is a useless thing beause it has done little for me, other than giving me the ability to write; which, given the reactions of some of my blog readers is not a good thing! However, this article is not as much about the great style of my writing as it is about Babas and their traits. It is a multi-crore business, this Baba thing, and it has given me an idea to improve the nation as a whole, by making myself and my well wishers rich. (who are significantly small in number, so that essentially means a lot of money for me)

I plan to start "Academy for Seers and Saints : HOlistic and LEthargic approaches" (Figure out the acronym for yourselves. I have given up on profanity. Hint : The capitalised letters will give the answer!) This Academy will have an underlying principle of the Golden Rule, which states that "He who has the gold, makes the rules!" And with a Dean like me to boot, this Academy is surely going to do well. I plan to teach the prospective Babas a lot many things, including but not limited to : conjuring up fruits from thin air, preparing special "bhasmas" for curing rare maladies, and of course the much vaunted art of ventrilouqy, to enable them to deliver verdicts on a person's fate in 3D surround sound. And then there will be lectures on economics, because previous experience has shown that the Babas are usually uneducated people who cannot differentiate between Rs.1 and Rs. 500 notes, which is seriously detrimental to the person seeking the Baba's advice as he will get to hoard his wealth, leading to the education of his/her children, who will probably end up writing blogs such as these : so in effect, I am rendering an invaluable service to the nation by preventing formation of new age blog writers such as myself! (What a sentence! Whoever can read this in a single breath will get a FREE counselling session with the Topper Baba of my Academy!)

Of course, you will be tempted to ask where are the profits for ME in this whole scheme of affairs. Well, if you have taken me to be a total dodo, I would like to thank you for the compliment. I believe that the dodos were the most intelligent of all species on the earth, because they rid themselves of the misery of living on this planet, which is going to come to an end soon anyway (thanks to my graduate babas). So, anyway, back to my profit making scheme. All Babas who graduate from the Academy will owe an allegiance to the Academy and since I am not a greedy person, they will have to give 99 percent of their profits to me. Hey, it is only fair that if a person is earning crores of rupees because of my investment in converting him from an uneducated, dishevelled, scrawny and seedy looking, income-less person to an uneducated, dishevelled, scrawny and seedy looking person who is earning crores of rupees, I deserve to keep the majority of the money. I wouldn't know about you, but I plan to shift base to another country once ten batches of my Academy are out. See you in Switzerland!