Mumbai will have a Metro

At least that is what I heard on the news recently. Apparently, some politician woke up one fine morning on his "official" visit to Tokyo, had a look out of the window and saw - millions of Japanese people commuting to work. Actually, he did not see a million, I guess his estimate was off by about a few thousand. That being besides the point, I digress, he was amazed at the capacity of the local metro trains. They were full to the brim, which reminded him of the local trains of Mumbai and this of course made him so nostalgic that he had to order Indian food for breakfast. He skipped his usual sushi - imagine what the love for the country can make these men of stolid (or do I mean solid?) character do! Amazing is the word that suggests itself immediately to the mind.

Anyway, so the hero (Huh?) of our story thought, "That's a swell idea! Why not have a metro for Mumbai? That way, we will still have people who are hanging off trains, but the trains will be faster! That probably means that more people will fall off them! A solution for the population crisis of Mumbai? No, wait. I can't use that. Some of them may be from my vote bank. No, no. I must think of something else to promote the metro. I must take care of my minority. Ha! I can cite the example of the Delhi metro and how well it is functioning! I don't know if it is functioning at all. I never got a chance to ride it, what with my constant Europe and America trips and the usual delay in the flights that forces me to use my private chopper to commute from the Mumbai airport to my residence in Colaba"

So, with this thought in mind, when our hero returned to his homeland (Arkansas, USA) he made an urgent call to his deputy and asked him to fix up a meeting with Mallika Shararat. No point in going ahead with a project without celebrity backing is a famous motto of the Maharashtra politburo. I am unsure about the arcane reason subjacent to this old rite, but there you have it. No new project can start without the blessings of these almighty deities. Look at poor Amitabh having to plead (yes, plead) to the people of UP (actually, the whole nation) to give their children the vital polio dose so that they can live unhampered and better lives. I don't see the purpose behind this. I think the reason is that the noblesse oblige forces the men in power to rescind any plans that do not have celebrity backing. So, we have famous people endorsing all sorts of government plans, right from the mid-day meal scheme for children in municipal schools to setting up shops selling china ware in local... oops I mean the metro trains. The shopkeeper will be one harassed fellow:

"Dekhne ka paisa nahi hai bhai. Dekho magar pyaar se. Abe motorman, gaadi theek se chalaa! Mera saara maal..." (Sound of all the china crashing in the background)

Anyway, the plans for the metro for Mumbai have apparently been given the go-ahead, subject to the arrival of a few khokaas at the respective residences of the respected politicians. The point d'appui for the selection of the metro seems to be the convenience it will furnish to daily commuters of this city. Not to mention the convenience of the men in power. As long as the voters are happy, they can happily volplane their ways towards their respective "khursis"

For some serious thoughts about the implications the metro will have on the city, you are requested to go Here.