The Oil Wells

Today, at the mess where I eat, we had something which the cooks lovingly call “Dry Dinner”. This is not to be confused with Dry Day, when [much to the chagrin of many alcohol lovers] the state of Maharashtra declares a ban on alcohol sales. In my opinion, the dinner derives it’s name from the fact that “dry” is exactly how your throat feels after having consumed about three hundred litres of oil. Really! The dry dinner menu consists of the following:

• Fried rice
• Tomato Soup
• Fried Bread Crumbs
• French Fries
• Potato Chips
• Toast
• Rose milkshake
• Tomato / Egg Omelets
• Salad

If you notice, the only item which doesn’t have any fat calories is the salad. Unfortunately, it doesn’t taste remotely as good as the rest of the stuff. I think the dry dinner is sponsored by the new gymnasium that has sprung up near the mess where I eat. If this dry dinner stuff becomes a regular feature, we are going to have oil - dependency issues. Pretty soon, you’ll hear about muggings in IIT for “oil - money”. Basically, this would mean that someone would get robbed so that the robber can get his oil - high!

On a slightly sober note, the cholesterol that one will derive from this lone meal will be enough to sustain several lion seals throughout the long winter months. However since the average IITian has the IQ of a lion seal [or less] when it comes to selecting food that is good for health, this dry dinner thing has become a kind of a rage. This has caused some concern to the parents of the students studying here, as they now have to book two train / aeroplane tickets to get their darling child back home for the vacation! Also, due to the recent increase in incidences of heart attack in the student community, questions are being raised about the oil use in the hostel kitchens. A study is yet to be done to correlate the heart attacks to the oil consumption [There are people who believe that sudden excesses of emotion can also trigger heart attacks: such as avoiding failing in some subjects, happiness because the girl said yes, dejection because the girl said yes] Overall, there is a gloom spread over IIT because of this oily mess. [pun unintended]

Only the Middle - East is rejoicing!