Saturday, September 30, 2006

A Bizarre Encounter

Yesterday, I had an encounter of the bizarre kind. It was peculiar in the sense that I didn't actually have an encounter but came away from the scene feeling I had. This happened when I was getting off the bus and a guy on a bike zoomed past me. Now, rules of the country say that you are not supposed to drive on the embarking / disembarking portion of the bus stop, let alone zoom by. But this character was obviously oblivious of all those regulations. Unfortunately for us, such people (whose brain volume is less than the volume of their bike's engine) are the norm rather than the exception. So, we are going to have to learn to live with them.

On a slightly lighter note (the biker could have benefited from some weight loss by the way) I recently heard of another bizarre incident taking place elsewhere in the world, in a different galaxy. The incident occurred in the Sahara Desert which lies in the Third Sector of the Phytomedia Galaxy, yonder to the Milky Way (tm) Galaxy. Some people reported seeing flying camels and this created quite a furore. Was it mere hallucination or was it the work of some alien technology? In a bid to find out the real truth, I decided to investigate further. (Note of caution : All the material written here is sourced from the internet. Therefore, it is very valid and accurate, if you know what I mean!)

Agency Reports : More camels were seen flying following reports of flying camel sightings in and around the fringes of the desert. While this could be put down to overdose of coffee and lack of sleep on the part of the residents, there are some scientists who claim that the flying camels are nothing but a mirage. (And you wonder why the Mirages with the Indian Air Force crash? They are nothing but flying camels!) This is a serious development according to the American Journal of Research on Inane Topics (AJRIT) (motto : We are researching the correlation between the depth of the Indian Ocean and the recent terror attacks around the world) Mr. John Doe of AJRIT claimed that the flying camels are the latest technology that has invaded the desert and is threatening to disrupt the life of the locals.

"Camels have long been the travel companions of the tribes inhabiting the desert. With some of them now adapting to the skies, owning a flying camel will become a prestige issue and pretty soon we are going to have Sheikhs wanting to have a flying fleet of camels. Soon, they will add to the crowding of the already overcrowded airports"
Sheikh Abdul : This is Sheikh Abdul on Camel Flight 203, requesting permission to land.
Control Tower : Negative Sheikh, we are full. Please try the Cairo airport.
SA : I have just come from there. They are full too. They are having a full convention on flying camels in Cairo and they have people coming in from India on flying carpets, people from Europe coming in on broomsticks, the lot.
CT : If you can hold out for twenty seven hours, we may be able to fit you in.
SA : Okay. But make it quick. My camel needs to take a leak.

Another development could be that the leading software manufacturer of the world (you know who I am talking about!) could soon come out with a game called The Flying Camel Simulator. That would be hilarious. I have heard that the programmers undergo intensive on-site training before writing the software. For this, they would need to go to the Sahara Desert to practice flying on the camels.
Owner of Big Software company : "Guys, have you made it to the Sahara?"
Programmers : "Sir, we are stuck in Nevada. The GPS system is not working. It does not show a place called Sahara anywhere in the US"
Owner : "Try restarting the service. If that doesn't work, try contacting help desk. No, wait. Help desk will not be of any help. They are in the process of changing the hold tune from Beethoven's Symphonies to Mozart's Compilations. You need to figure out for yourself how to reach there"
Prog. : "Sir, we have restarted the service. It is asking us for permission to send an error report and searching like hell for an internet connection! We may have to abort."

If on the other hand, the owner asks the Sheikhs to get the camels to the United States, there will be a great security threat and the Sheikh would have to fill out Security and Customs forms.

Security and Customs form for Private Aircraft owner
1. Are there any living animals on board? Ans. The aircraft is an animal.
2. Has the aircraft undergone any repair work unbeknownst to you? Ans. Not that I know of.
3. Are you the owner of this aircraft? Who was the previous owner? And. I am the owner.
4. Are you carrying any illegal items on board such as drugs, weapons of mass destruction? Ans. The aircraft is suffering from stomach ache and is currently classified as a Biological WMD.

Personally, I think that flying camels is a swell idea. It will be one hell of a sight to behold a humped camel spreading its wings and taking for the skies. I am sure that one will be able to earn millions just from giving out joy rides. I propose to do so. I am just waiting for getting training from The Flying Camel Simulator.

1 comment:

idle mind said...

hi bro, thanks for stopping by :-)

as for returning, really it was painful. i could have stayed there happily ever after...