Engagement Day

It is official, I can pen it down on my blog now. I am getting engaged soon. And my thoughts can be classified into two categories

1. Wow!
2. Shit!

[Note here that alphabetically, the second thought should precede the first thought. However, I am an optimist and I prefer to have the happy thoughts (as if!) before the dreaded ones!]

Wow!

1. I am going to have to be responsible for more than one person now. Earlier, I was responsible for only one person. Here's a little quiz for people with little IQ: Who was the person that I wasearlier responsible for?

2. I am going to have to make public appearances with my fiance at various family, social and official gatherings. It is required by decree number two hundred and thirty six of the Laws for the Torture of the to be Married Man

3. I will have access to a joint account, and that is a good thing, because I earn peanuts

4. Since I am about to be engaged, I can flirt all I want without fear of any retribution because my fiancee knows that I am an outrageous flirt [she reads this blog and she has been privy to my conversations with meghan! ;)] And if the other girl minds my doing this, well that is her problem! :)

5. No question of parental pressure for looking out for the right girl and visiting 'N' places to "see" the girl as I am getting engaged to the girl of my choice!

Shit!

1. I am going to have to be responsible for more than one person now.

2. I am going to have to make public appearances with my fiance at various family, social and official gatherings.

3. I will have access to a joint account, and that is a bad thing, because my fiancee will get to see all the things I spend money on [note to self: must cancel all subscriptions to debonair, playboy, hustler, etc.! :(]

4. Since I am about to be engaged, I can flirt all I want without fear of any retribution because my fiancee knows that I am an outrageous flirt. Unfortunately, flirting is about all I can do from now on! :( [note to fiance: flirting was all that I did till date. Really! Ask MD, Shiva about it!]

5. No question of parental pressure for looking out for the right girl and visiting 'N' places to "see" the girl as I am getting engaged to the girl of my choice! So, for good or for bad, through thick and thin [should be through fat and thin, because I weigh in excess of 290 pounds, whereas she is in the early hundreds; so we kind of complement each other.] and through happy times and sad, I am going to have to live with my choice. Not that I have any complaints on this aspect, but what the heck, I needed a fifth point! :)

/Radgovin

Things to do for Today

The following is the result of boredom from waiting for the anti-virus scan to finish so that I can get back to my work. The most famous (and also the most resource intensive) anti-virus software consumes so much of my processing time, I cannot even copy-paste (which is what I do most of the time!)

Disclaimer: I have not tried any of the following myself. I am just suggesting the same for killing time and trying to raise a laugh. The reader agrees to indemnify me if upon executing some of the strategies mentioned here, the reader faces some action in the form of blockage of internet access, severe castration, etc.

For the bored executive (Huh?) at work: a compendium of some things to do today -

1. Find out the network admin's email id and send him hate email from new accounts created daily at some obscure email service site. (Hint: use his/her email id when signing up)

2. Find out the email id of a co-worker you really hate and sign him/her up for all sorts of newsletters from all sorts service providers: askmen.com, national geographic, erotica daily [I am not sure if this exists, but it should! :)] google news, etc.

3. While you are waiting for the anti-virus scan to finish, call up a friend outside the company and ask him/her to download some viruses and email them to all the employees of your unit from a new email id. Alternately, ask him/her to sign everyone up at some risque sites! (esp. the admin)

4. Call up a friend and ask him/her to annoy your boss with missed/blank calls, esp. at a time when you know you are going to be with your boss.

5. And for the coup de grace: after taking a backup of your hard-disk, run some virus on your system to clean your hard-disk and blame everyone, including the sweeper for the loss of your hard work!

Disclaimer (again!): I repeat, I am not to be held responsible for action against the reader for following the above tasks! :)

Liverpool vs. Arsenal review

In any given season, there are three away games that an Arsenal fan looks forward to with both anticipation and dread. A trip to the other three of the so-called top four of the erstwhile EPL is inevitable as it is exciting. There is always a sense of expectation, the feeling that Arsenal should win. And there is the dreading of facing the taunts in the case of a poor performance by the team. That, however, was not the case yesterday.

In yesterday's game against Liverpool, Arsenal played like the league leaders that they are. It was out of sheer luck and the superhuman efforts of a single man on the pitch for Liverpool, the ubiquitous Gerrard that got them a point. A point which they did just enough to earn.

Right from the start, Liverpool were under pressure, and in a way, quite lucky to earn the free-kick that lead to their first and only goal of the match. Fabregas fouled Alonso on the edge of the box. From the ensuing free kick, Gerrard scored a goal, which can be described in a single word: SCREAMER! Although the ball was only a few inches away from Almunia, you couldn't have blamed him. The ball was inside the net before you could say Stevie G. Liverpool rode on the euphoria post the goal for a while, but after that, it was all Arsenal till the second half.

L'pool started the second half brightly, with the introduction of Crouch prompting the L'pool midfield and defence to launch long balls for the tall striker to utilize. He did have three decent chances, but it was not his day, unlike in March this year when he scored three from three against the same opposition at the same ground. Traditionally, L'pool have been Arsenal's bete noir, having the most number of wins and scoring the most number of goals against Arsenal in the League till date. However, that was not to be the story of yesterday.

The Arsenal youth came into their own late in the second half, with the tiredness markedly apparent on the L'pool defence. Mascherano was booked for a two footed lunge and the only thing that prevented his getting a sending off was that his right leg was in the air, when he clashed into Sagna. It took Arsenal more than half an hour into the second half to really start making inroads into the L'pool defence. However, even then, L'pool were stubborn and used strength in numbers to block of wave after wave of Arsenal attacks.

In the end, it took a slight bit of luck and immense patience and talent from two bright young players of Arsenal to break down Liverpool. Hleb took up the ball on the left flank and made a forward run. Adebayour was offside, Hleb didn't pass. Then Nicklas was offside, Hleb still didn't pass. He knew who was making a run down his right into the centre of the box and at the last possible moment, Hleb flicked the ball into the path of Cesc Fabregas, who took a touch before toe poking it past a hapless Reina, who could only watch the ball trickle into the back of the net after hitting his hand.

When it comes to breaking down dogged defences, it takes patience, courage and a never-say-die attitude to score a goal. And that is precisely what Arsenal did yesterday. This is where the team differs from last years team, which used to get frustrated (and to a major extent because of the captain's antics and frustrations on the pitch) The present team has the willingness to slug it out till the end. Let's hope they sustain that spirit throughout! Amen to that!

For the Technorati Spiders

<a href="http://technorati.com/claim/ebzfmsxsx" rel="me">Technorati Profile</a>

The Human Brain

This article has got nothing to do with a more serious [actually, the word "more" here is unwarranted. This article is not at all serious. Ergo, the other article can only be serious!] article over at my other blog, Serious musings ... That article can be accessed here: The Human Brain

Irrespective of whatever has been said and written about the human brain, one thing is for sure: India is never going to win the football world cup. That said, it is also true that the male and female brains think radically different. [A point which has been highlighted in a previous article: here] Without dwelling too much on the previous article, let me just come to the point at hand: female brains are always dwelling on the higher truth and male brains are always dwelling on: xxx [hint: replace the first two x's by s & e respectively!] I had to use this way of writing to escape the watchful eyes of the SEX NO. In case you are wondering what the heck I'm speaking about, read this article: here.

Anyway, the point that I want to make is that the human brain is such a convoluted thing, that pretty soon there are going to be people who will want to call me a stereotyper [which is totally wrong, because I am an environmental engineer and not a software engineer who types codes all day long. In addition to this, I prefer the term blog typer] and use all sorts of expletives in different languages. I am sure that guys are sitting back and having a laugh on reading the truth: which is of course the little tidbit about India's prospects at the football world cup. No, you dummies! I am of course talking about our proclivity towards xxx [this time, the xxx serves a dual purpose. I am sure the guys have this one figured out! :)]

Since this article is already four paragraphs long [it's only three actually, but I am counting the present para also. Take my word for it, don't scroll up and check] and nothing has been said about the human brain till now, I am sure that most of you are not concerned by it. That is principally because most of you are [by now] accustomed to my wandering around here and there. And even more, some of you are just browsing around for the links to xxx [realization dawns for females at this point] that I surreptitiously include in my posts, much to the chagrin of those looking for the links specifically. There, I have managed to type another lengthy para without really speaking about anything.

The point that I am trying to make is that it is difficult to predict what a person is going to say, just by looking at his/her blog. And for males, here is a tip: if you really want to figure out what the female really wants to say, you are looking around a foot lower than you ought to. Females never suffer from this predicament, principally because of two things:

1. They are always staring at your face to figure out how desperate you are feeling at that point of time, so that they can figure out their own state of readiness for fight/flight

2. If they are not maintaining eye-contact, they are considered to be shy and demure, whereas in reality, they may be "checking out" if you are a stud or a dud [whatever that means!]

I am sure that by this point in time, you have forgotten what the article was originally about. Which just goes to show that my encephalonic prowess is such that I am able to subvert the readers' thoughts and replace them with my own. While this does not have a specific utility, I am sure that I can come up with one and convince the reader about the same. Maybe I should think of taking over the world.

Readers, start spreading the word. Ask your friends and relatives to read the blog of their new leader. I command you to do so!

Please! :)

/Radgovin

Registration at FeedBurner

Since I have registered my blog at FeedBurner.com, I realize that there is a need for me to update my blog more regularly. Hence, this article.

Update

/Radgovin

Frequent Updating

Yesterday, in a fit of masochism, I chose to have a live feed of my own blog in Internet Explorer. I don't know what trigger went off in my mind which forced me to take such a drastic step. I usually don't read what one personality of my multiple available personalities has written. Anyway, this is what I came across:

Random musings of a Questioning mind

You are viewing a feed that contains frequently updated content. When you subscribe to a feed, it is added to the Common Feed List. Updated information from the feed is automatically downloaded to your computer and can be viewed in Internet Explorer and other programs. Learn more about feeds.

Subscribe to this feed

I am sure, that just like me, you too are wondering: What the heck is the cup size of Ms. Koirala's bra? And I am sure you have realized that the previous statement was written by the original blogger. Anyway, since you are in wonderment mode, have a dekko at the first line of the paragraph describing the feed. If there is one word which can describe the multitude of questions, plethora of confusions and plentiful doubts in your mind, it will be this: "48 C". No, of course I am kidding. The real word is "Huh?"

"Huh?" is exactly what I thought when I saw that my blog was coming under the frequently updated feed tag. So, in a bid to verify the veracity of the claim, I tried the same with some other blogs I know, which have not been updated since the Mesozoic ages. Here is what I came up with:

1. Aye Caramba

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2. Sundae with Shiva

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3. Serious musings of a Questioning mind

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I am sure that you have not caught on to two facts:
1. The third blog is much much better than the first two ones
2. I have increased the length of this post simply by using Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V and your Jurassic brains were unable to pick that up! :)

So, if you want to have an update of fresh, humorous "feed" from my blog, I suggest you go here:
http://radgovin.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default

And enjoy reading my booger articles.

/Radgovin

P. S. I am guessing the size. For all you know, it might as well be 148 C!

Support Firefox!

Use the following to advertise Firefox, the better browser!

<a href="http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&amp;id=0&amp;t=217"><img border="0" alt="Firefox 2" title="Firefox 2" src="http://sfx-images.mozilla.org/affiliates/Buttons/firefox2/468x60FF2b_Orange.png"/></a>

/Radgovin

P. S. I am doing this as a public service message! :)

LAN - GAUGE

That is the estimate used to determine how much of bandwidth in the internal LAN at IITB is used for downloading pornography, or as it is known: pr0n! There are other meanings to this word also, one of them being the following:

a body of words and the systems for their use common to a people who are of the same community or nation, the same geographical area, or the same cultural tradition [definition]

Different languages cause a lot of humour to be generated and this article is in place just to cite one of them.There is a Jewish blessing for married couples "Sheva Berachot" which means seven blessings. Now, this also sounds like a Marathi expletive and for the average Mumbaikar, Sheva Berachot is not going to evoke any feeling other than ire. Speaking of which, I encountered a funny incidence of two similar words having entirely different meanings:

ire - intense anger; wrath

irenic - tending to promote peace or reconciliation; peaceful or conciliatory

Ironical, ain't it?

Those who use the T9 dictionary feature in Nokia mobile handsets are aware of its utility. It provides a very convenient means of "texting". Try this for a funny coincidence - the keystrokes for select and reject [opposite meaning words] are the same! Be careful of what you type is all I can say for new T9 users!

More funny stuff later.

/Radgovin

Crowded Places and the average Human

Human beings are social animals. If ever there was an oxymoron, that is one. Of course, you will have to consider social in the reference of high society tea and coffee parties. And when you think of animals in that perspective, the only animals that come to mind are well trained and mannered pets, like cats, dogs and parrots, and their masters, water buffaloes and African hippopotamuses. Really! If you have ever had the occasion [I am sure you haven't] to attend a high class event [See, the very fact that you are reading this blog proves that you haven't] then you would know what goes on in such parties [if you are looking for information in this blog about such events, look elsewhere!] and the people who attend it. I am saying you have no information about these parties because they go on all the while. Consider the lifestyle of an average high society person:

Morning: Brush teeth. Put on deo. Attend high profile breakfast party.
Mid-morning - Early-afternnon: Use mouth freshener. Attend brunch meeting halfway across town.
Afternoon: Lunch party at a page 3 do.
Mid-afternoon - Early-evening: Catch a nap. Attend social outing. Gorge on pastries from exquisite lands.
Evening: Ah forget it, you get the drift by now!

Anyway, since there is no way these people can give vent to the obstreperous child residing within them, since there is no imprimatur for boisterous activities forthcoming from anyone, they take to the next best thing: devouring huge amounts of fatty substances, which leads to their skin taking on the look and feel of alabaster, hence the reference to water buffaloes and hippopotamuses.

Again, since the diameter of an average party goer is 23 feet (as measured at the waist) a lot of crowding takes place at the meeting points. A lot many herbivorous and carnivorous feeding activities can be witnessed at social events which are frequented by these social animals. And according to the law of conservation of mass, what goes in must come out, subject to whatever you have retained and what you chose to let go. Since the human DNA has been programmed when the human species was faced with death due to starvation, the human body is loathe to let go off all the fat that the mouth finds delectable to consume. It will willingly expunge any signs of bodily muscle at the first given opportunity. Yet, even when there exists a dire need to burn off the fat, such as when a person is trying to lose weight, the body will stubbornly hold onto it [personal experience] And in lieu of the fat, it will burn some sulphurous material, leading to the release of

FAR
FA
F
Don't make me write the words, please!

So, as you can imagine, social dos are soon converted from a gathering of people of the high society to a massacrial gas chamber straight out of a concentration camp. I am not going to elucidate on this aspect. I have an invite to attend one of the camps ... I mean, one do today evening, post twilight. Anyone interested in having a fits hand [first nose] experience can tag along!

/Radgovin

Access Policy

I can see that Shiva has been reading my posts.

Unfortunately, I cannot access the comments page to interact with him. I can only receive the comments he is writing after going through my posts. I can post by sending email to my blog, but I cannot access the comments paghe due to Internet Policy of my workplace.

Thanks for the comments, Shiva. Keep 'em coming! :)

/Radgovin

P. S. I was kidding about IPR! :)

Thought for the day

There is no such thing as a good phase in life.

There are little worse bad phases! :)

/Radgovin

Understanding VAT

Every day, I learn something new at the place where I work. This is an attempt to educate the world about what I am doing! :) [Assuming that the world is interested! ;)]

VAT - Value Added Tax
This is a relatively new concept introduced by the Government of India for reducing the burden of taxes on manufacturer. Any manufacturer adds value to a commodity, making it marketable/sellable. The manufacturer, therefore, has to pay tax for this value addition [foolish, isn't it? You are punished for improving something] Hence, the name Value Added Tax. However, it is not as simple as that. Value Addition can also mean an increase in price. This can be illustrated by the following case study:

Chandu is a trader who buys biscuit packets from Brittania. He in turn, sells them to a local distributor, Pandu. Pandu then sells the biscuit packets to the local shops, which sell them to the customer. One local shop is Rasiklaal General Stores, where you are the customer [or consumer, pun unintended! :)]

Consider the previous system of sales tax, where sales tax was levied at a flat rate for the first sale, and thereafter, no tax was collected. In this case, if Brittania sells the packet at Rs. 11.00 (inclusive of tax @ 10% i.e. cost of Rs. 10 and tax @ 10% on sales price) M/s. Chandu, Pandu and Rasiklal are free to add their own profits to the cost price of the bisucit packet and they need not worry about being taxed. And you, the customer, ends up bearing the brunt of the Rs. 20/- biscuit packet!

Now, under the current system of VAT, Brittania will sell the biscuit at the normal price. If Chandu adds his profit of Re. 1 to the biscuit, he has to pay VAT on the increment i.e. on the Re. 1 price increase. This implies that higher the price increase, the greater the tax he has to pay. Similarly, the same is true for Pandu and Rasiklal. This ensures that there taxation at multiple points as opposed to a single point. Although, the revenue for the Government may reduce, it ensures a larger tax "net" wherein there are money inputs from many places.

I may not have been able to explain the finer details of VAT explicitly here. I am providing links for readers interested in further reading.

Similarly, there exists a concept of CENVAT, wherein each person in a chain can claim against taxes the amount he/she has paid as tax for his/her purchase. This is valid only in the case of Excise duties, certain import duties [known as Countervailing Duties and Special Additional Duty] and Service Tax,

Some reading material:

1. http://dateyvs.com/salestax_vat.htm
2. http://finance.indiamart.com/taxation/central_vat.html
3. http://finmin.nic.in/law/CENVATcreditrules2004.pdf

VAT - prevention of cascading effect of tax

Transaction without VAT Transaction With VAT Details A B A B Purchases - 110 - 100 Value Added 100 40 100 40 Sub – Total 100 150 100 140 Add Tax 10% 10 15 10 14 Total 110 165 110 154

The Morning after

Post every match that India wins closely, and I am of course referring to the country's unofficial national sport, cricket, the people of the world's largest democracy go into a state of delirium; a dreamlike state  where God is in his heaven and everything is fine on earth. Its unbelievable, the effect a single win has on the minds of the simple folk that populate this country. No matter that the win has come after consecutive losses, some of which were downright humiliating. All is forgiven, let bygones be bygones.

I wonder when we will start displaying consistency, both as a nation and as a cricketing team. Or any team representing India in any sport.

/Radgovin

List of Contract Management Abbr.

AD	Additional Duty
BCD	Basic Custom Duty
BE	Bill of Entry
BG	Bank Guarantee
BL	Bill of Lading
CENVAT	Central Value Added
	Tax
CLF	Clearing and Forwarding
CM	Contract Manager
CPM	Corporate Performance
	Management
CST	Central Sales Tax
CVD	Countervailing Duty
DIPP	Department of Industrial
	Policy and Promotion
EC	Essentiality Certificate
	(for importing items for
	project, to avail
	concessional customs duty)
ED	Excise Duty
F&A	Finance & Accounts
FX	Foreign Exchange
LC	Letter of Credit
LD	Liquidated Damages
LR	Lorry Receipt
MCE	Marine Cum Erection
	(pertaining to Insurance)
MoM	Minutes of Meeting
PAC	Project Authority Certificate
PCM	Project Construction Manager
	/ Project Commissioning Manager
PEM	Project Engineering Manager
PERT	Programme Evaluation and
	Review Technique
PIE	Project Import Endorsement
PM	Project Manager
PPD	Project Procurement Department
PPM	Project Procurement Manager
RCM	Resident Construction Manager
SAD	Special Additional Duty
VAT	Value Added Tax
WPI	Wholesale Price Index

List of Contract Management Abbr.

Here is a list of Contract Management Abbr. that are more for my own reference rather than anyone else's! :)



/Radgovin

Gymnasium Ad nauseam

I wonder how many of my readers have had a chance to take a bath in a bathroom that is frequented by other people. Not simultaneously, of course. I am referring to the bathrooms at your swanky gyms and spas, where people have taken baths before you and will take baths after you, leaving you wondering: How the heck did he get the shampoo up there? No, really. At the gymnasium where I copulate... oops I meant at the gymnasium which I populate... Seems like there is something wrong with my keyboard. It types c some times when I want to type p. Its probably a good thing that there are no such words as plitoris or punt or pervical pyst having meanings entirely different from their c countercarts!

Anyway, coming back to the topic at shower. I find that there are people who manage to get shampoo, soap and other bodily fluids onto the shower head! How disgusting is that? I mean, sure, I can understand getting some soap onto the tap, because you might want to turn it on after you've soaped yourself. But how the heck do you explain the soap on the top of the shower head? What was the person before you trying to do? Was he some weird, kamasutric tantric who was figuring out a new way of pleasure? Cryptic tales of the bathroom 'bater would be a great headline for local newspapers reporting this phenomenon.

And of course, there are those hirsute males you see going into the bathroom just before you do and you know you should puke before entering, because that is what you are bound to do anyway once you enter the bathroom. These guys have at least one hundred zillion hair follicles, and that is just in their ears. And most of the hair growing from these follicles is expendable. They can discharge several tonnes of hair and still weigh the same, probably because their public [or is it pubic?] hair has an amazing growth rate. I shudder to think what would happen should such people decide to work as fashion models. The amount of money spent on razors to shave them would be mind boggling! :)

Worse still, if they start making food for you - yuck! Don't get me started on that. Much as this blog is given to risque, disgusting and revolting discussions, there are some things that even a blog of this stature should cease and desist from. Hair in the food? Or hair as food? Blechhh!

Even the Japanese people will "sweat" on that one!

/Radgovin

Sholay in L&T

Sholay in L&T - Sourced off an Internal Discussion Forum

Jay : Mausi, ladka L&T mein kaam karta hai.. Mausi : Hai ram..!!! Aur kahin try kar raha hai kya?? Jay : Kahan mausi 5 saal L&T me rahne ke baad koi Company leti kahan hai... Mausi : Hai Raam to kya 5 saal se L&T mein hi hai.. Jay :   Haan socha tha 5 saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal to salary bhi jyada NAHI mil rahi hai use.. Mausi : To kya salary BHI KAM milti HAI..? Jay : Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi.. Mausi : Hai hai ...!! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska..? Jay : Senior se ladhai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi rating to nahin milti hai... mausi.. Mausi : To kya ladhta bhi hai..? Jay : Ab der raat tak ghar jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi kabhi anban.. Mausi : To kya der raat tak ghar bhi nahin jataa..??? Jay : Ab design wale ki kismat mein to yehi likha hai mausi.. Mausi : Kya kaha ladka design mein hai..!!! Kaunse college se padhai ki hai..? Jay : Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar de denge!! To main rishta pakka samjhuna mausi??? Mausi : Beta, kan khol kar sun le...Sagi mausi hoon basanti ki koi sauteli maa nahi. Bhale hi hamaari Basanti Call Center wale chandu se shaadi kar le par L&T ke employee se katai nahin karegi [Author Unknow - for obvious reasons on an internal discussion forum] Posted on this blog by Radgovin

My First Corporate Seminar

During the one month of orientation at the place where I currently work [which cannot be revealed for domestic security reasons, both the country's and mine! :)] I was trained to become a professional, able to deliver the killer blow in a corporate environment, not very much unlike Jason Bourne [of the Bourne series fame] with the subtle difference being that Bourne kills people with a flick of a knife vis a vis my maiming of people's resolve with mind-numbing and stupor-evolving yawns. I was taught that etiquette is the art of yawning with your mouth closed. However, I came to realize that there was much more to be achieved by unleashing a slew of loud-mouthed, stinking and resolve deflating yawns. They helped me achieve my basic purpose in life: that of ending meetings, seminars, boring conversations with seniors, pronto!

Today, I had my first opportunity to attend a full blown corporate seminar, complete with people from all departments participating, in a sincere effort to have a culmination of ideas, to lead the company to progress and to source free food from some good restaurants at the company's expense. No, really! I mean, most of the people sitting at the Seminar [including yours truly] were constantly looking at their watches in anticipation of the arrival of the lunch hour. And they were giving subtle hints to the speaker about this.

Speaker: ... So, as I was saying, the onus is on the consortium [pauses, seeing a raised hand] Yes?
Questioner: So you are saying that tackling the onerous clause is our responsibility?
Speaker: Well, you see that we need to consider the financial and legal implications...
Questioner: [interrupting] And we can discuss the same over lunch, is that what you want to say?

Anyway, since lunch was the prerogative of a sizeable amount of the audience present [sizeable = total number of people present in auditorium - speaker] the lunch break was called for. What happened during the stampede that ensued the announcement is a matter for the newspapers to report. Suffice to say that there was an exodus of unforeseen magnitude, leaving the speaker with no choice but to complete his last few statements in soliloquy.

Post lunch session, I took up a reconnaissance post near the head of the table. The information that I can purvey from my survey is simple: yawning was the order of the day. Not that this is a bad things for humans to do. I have read somewhere that humans yawn to replenish the exhausted supply of oxygen in the brain. That, of course is total hogwash, although many scientific journals do subscribe to that piece of information. The reasons human beings yawn is because they are feeling sleepy and [especially if they are males] they are thinking about the thrills of having sex on the discussion table.

Anyway, after half an hour into the post lunch session, it was pretty obvious that the Seminar on Contract management had turned into the Indian Idol for Yawning competition. I remember trifle little of what took place. I can't pinpoint the reason for it. But I keep having these vague images of the boardroom table in my mind. I wonder why? :)

/Radgovin

Movie Review: Bhool Bhulaiyaa

Stereotyping is the malaise that is affecting the performing arts and people who stereotype are the worst critics in the world [For the benefit of those who haven't realized, I have created a stereotype myself in the previous statement] When there exists a set belief in the milieu about a director / actor, it becomes difficult for the said person to break from the mould. And that is exactly what I experienced when watching Priyadarshan's latest offering: Bhool Bhulaiyaa.

Right at the outset, let me tell you that I am an admirer of Priydarshan: especially because of the way in which he can visualize scenes in a movie from the viewer's point of view. He has the uncanny ability to get into the spectator's mind and leave him/her feeling, "Now, why do I get the feeling that I know what's happening here?" It is to his credit that people can associate with the characters of his films. However, the fact that he has shot more comedy/booger films than any other contemporary director implies to the general public that all his movies should have the following:

1. people falling over each other,
2. trying to get out of quagmires/conundrums,
3. chasing each other in circles and
4. in general creating as much pandemonium as possible.

With Bhool Bhulaiyaa, Priyadarshan has tried to break out of the humour genre. However, as the saying goes, old habits die hard, and he ends up having some humour in what is purportedly a serious/suspense movie. Its supposed to be based on the Malayalam hit movie Manichitrathazu and since I have not seen that one, I am loathe to comment on the similarity/disparity. However, I will say the following about the movie:

Bhool Bhulaiyaa starts off in a manner totally incongruent to the usual comedy routine of most of Priyadarshan's films. We are introduced to some remote village in India, which is home to the abode of some rich dynasty. The heir apparent to the throne, Siddhartha Chaturvedi [Shiney Ahuja] is your typical ABCD, happy to return to his birth place along with his better half, Avani. [Vidya Balan] In this archetypal village, we are introduced to his relatives, which of course has to include Paresh Rawal. [Siddhartha's uncle] Also, we are informed that due to certain inappropriate activities on the part of the previous proprietrix of the mansion, the monarchial abode suffers from paranormal malaise.

After some initial suspense, we are introduced to the central character of the film: Dr. Shrivastava [obviously, Mr. Akshay Kumar] Here is where the movie starts becoming interesting and to some extent, predictable. Akshay Kumar has done well in playing his part of a Psychotherapist. Unfortunately for both Priyadarshan and Akshay, he had to be cast as a character who likes to make fun of someone and always has some wisecracks and goof ups up his sleeve [or down his trousers, for that matter] We are treated, for a while, to the classic Priyadarshan slapstick. Yet, just when we are enjoying ourselves, laughing at Akshay's antics, we are exposed to the stark reality of affairs in the Chaturvedi household. A Bengali spirit haunting the premises is hardly cause for any one to laugh and there are some scenes where Priyadarshan manages to have you on the edge of the seat.

Overall, the movie is good to watch. One should go to watch the movie remembering that it is not a comedy flick a la Dhol/Dhamaal, etc. It does not fall into the conventional humour genre. It is funny in certain parts, spooky in others and in general, a good overall entertainer. I'd rate it around 3.5 on a scale of 5.
/Radgovin

Book Review: The Bourne Identity

For a long time, I have been wanting to write a book review. And as it always happens, I always have this urge to write about a Ludlum book. Simply because of the details he puts into the book, the way he builds up his characters and the immaculate way of delivering the climax: all the while ensuring that the reader is on the edge of her/his seat. The last time around, I believe have written a book review of The Bancroft Strategy. You can access that here: [The Bancroft Strategy]

Details of the book:
Title: The Bourne Identity
Author: Robert Ludlum

ISBN 5557076387 Review: There have been many books till date which start with an amnesiac trying to remember who he/she is and where the heck has he/she come from. Some famous examples being Code to Zero [Ken Follett] and more recently, The Ambler Warning [Robert Ludlum]. However, I believe that none is as thrilling and intriguing as the Identity. It starts at a slow pace, with the subject coming to his senses in some remote place after he has been shot and left for the dead in the Mediterranean sea. From here, he begins his journey towards his identity, a journey that is going to be fraught with disasters and deathly escapades throughout the way. Jason realizes that he has a knack for handling weapons. He knows some form of self defense, although he does not recognize the cries associated with his bodily movements. He escapes the Mediterranean "prison" with the help of a drunk doctor. His first journey takes him to Marseilles, where he learns about his other capabilities: ability to break open doors, his acting prowess [he is a roscian and can fit into varied roles easily] and his ability to speak to people without revealing too much information. Little does he realize that these very qualities are to stand him in good stead in his further journeys. From Marseilles to Zurich and then onwards to Paris, the travel log of Monsieur Bourne is quite hectic. And there are frequent clashes with authority and all sorts of people who want to kill him. And always, there is the omnipresent threat from some person known only as Carlos to Bourne. Robert Ludlum has a penchant for coming up with incredible plots and his USP is that he manages to maintain the grip of the plot to the very end. There have been many authors who have started out with a good story but have petered out in the end. For eg., David Baldacci in The Simple Truth or William Diehl in The Hunt. Not so with Mr. Ludlum. He has a proclivity towards tense situations and face-offs; and an incredible, if somewhat macabre style of writing about killings and the methods used to accomplish them. There is not much gore [a la Andy McNab], not too much sex [a la Harold Robbins] or overwhelming details [a la Seymour]. There is just the right amount of conspiracy, the perfect quantity of the basic human requirement [not food, of course! :)] and most importantly, lots and lots of action and suspense. Few authors come to mind when I think of novels in this genre, with the most obvious one being Frederick Forsyth and to some extent Michael Crichton. This book is highly recommended for reading. Not for the weak hearted though. In case you need to spend a couple of sleepless nights, I suggest you read this book. At 535 pages [paperback edition] its not too huge, and the pace is damning! 4 and a half stars out of 5!

/Radgovin

Finally some work

There can be only a few things that are more frustrating than the inability to while your time by surfing blogs and checking and sending emails because the program called WebSense is being employed by your employer to prevent you from wasting your time.

Categories of sites blocked (which I have come across till now) are:

Adult Content (of course, that has top priority. It wouldn't do for you to be caught pleasing yourself when the client sits across you. Or for that matter, it will have a bad influence on the 6 million, three hundred and five thousand people sitting beside you in an area of two hundred square feet!)

Entertainment

General Email

Peer to Peer File Sharing

Sports

Streaming Media

Temp (whatever the heck that means!)

Anyway, since there is not much I can access on the Internet, it leaves me with no choice but to create a blog article of my own. Luckily for me, as of now, blogger.com has not been blocked. And even if it is, I can always emails articles! Neener, neener, neener! :)

/R

Finally some work

There can be only a few things that are more frustrating than the inability to while your time by surfing blogs and checking and sending emails because the program called WebSense is being employed by your employer to prevent you from wasting your time.

Categories of sites blocked (which I have come across till now) are:
Adult Content (of course, that has top priority. It wouldn't do for you to be caught pleasing yourself when the client sits across you. Or for that matter, it will have a bad
Entertainment
General Email
Peer to Peer File Sharing
Sports
Streaming Media
Temp (whatever the heck that means!)

/R

Honeymoon Period

Since I am new to the organization, I am currently enjoying the honeymoon period of my incubation. [Shouldn't the incubation come after the honeymoon? :) ]

Anyway, since there is not a lot of work to be done, I expect that there is going to be a spurt of activity on my blog in the near future. The reason for this being the fact that there is not much work to be done over here at my office [as of now]

And in case any of you has not already realized this, I'd just like to state that I'm writing this particular blog article because there happens to be no work that I am capable of doing.

I realize that I might be boring some people in the audience. But I also realize that if they themselves had work to do, they wouldn't be here reading this blog! :D

So much for the Indian Industry's growth due to hard working individuals. Seems more like hardly working individuals! :)

A Pleasant Surprise!

Today, I required some information from the Labour Department of Haryana, which has in July released a revision for the Minimium Wages, vide the minimum wages act of 1948. Of course, as expected, this notification was nowhere to be found on the Internet and not even on the web-site of the Haryana Govt.

So, I got the phone no. of the Additional Commissioner of Labour, Govt. of Haryana and rang him up. Of course, he too did not have the soft copy. But wonder of wonders, he offered to fax it to me. And just when I thought things couldn't get aby better, he ACTUALLY faxed it to me!

Will wonders ever cease in this country?

Radgovin